What to do? - Mercedes G63 AMG edition

"505Turbeaux" (505turbeaux) 01/24/2014 at 09:04 • Filed to: None

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So tonight I have a '13 G63 AMG at my disposal. I freaking hate these things, and my town doesn't take to straight ballers too well, so I will leave my cologne and gold chains at home, and not valet the thing in front of a club. WTF do I do with it? If it was a 280GE 'vert I would take the top down in 5 degree weather and roll deep. That is one truck I love, I just think the new G a victim of it's own success. So what do I do with it? I have some ladies coming with me, that are not into the club thing. No snow on the roads, so parking lot donuts are out. No good driving roads close to town that aren't going to be crawling with fuzz tonight (and you know they would pull this thing over in a heartbeat)...

duurtlang > 505Turbeaux 01/24/2014 at 09:10

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"I freaking hate these things (...) WTF do I do with it?"

Easy. Don't use it and take a 505 instead.

offroadkarter > 505Turbeaux 01/24/2014 at 09:13

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I would drive the shit out of a G63

505Turbeaux > duurtlang 01/24/2014 at 09:14

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considered. The owner thinks they are doing a great thing by me though, I don't want to toss sand in her eye over it

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > 505Turbeaux 01/24/2014 at 09:15

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Find a muddy field and go nuts?

505Turbeaux > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 01/24/2014 at 09:17

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now we are talking

spanfucker retire bitch > 505Turbeaux 01/24/2014 at 09:20

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Take it off-road. As God intended, before it became the official SUV of Hollywood Housewives. It years for the freedom of the fields. Don't restrict it.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > 505Turbeaux 01/24/2014 at 09:20

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Oh! and once you cover it in mud roll up to the club and TROLL every tool bag who lusts after it for the wrong reasons. Also I think the cops won't know what the hell to think when they see a mud covered G63 lol

duurtlang > 505Turbeaux 01/24/2014 at 09:20

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So you're expected to drive it as a 'present'? That makes things more difficult. What do you do with presents you don't really want? If it's a very good friend I'd be honest, if it's not that good a friend I'd smilingly accept and drive it around the block a few times. Taking it off road isn't an option I'd guess.

Do you have large sunglasses?

505Turbeaux > duurtlang 01/24/2014 at 09:22

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lol I dont wear sunglasses. I will take her out around town for a bit probably and park it in my garage and go drink some shitty beer somewhere

505Turbeaux > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 01/24/2014 at 09:23

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the issue right now because I would TOTALLY do that, is that we have -4 degree weather. Any mud is solid as a rock right now. Damn this would be the best plan

FJ80WaitinForaLSV8 > 505Turbeaux 01/24/2014 at 09:26

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Wheel the shit out of it in a field. Love these things, have fun, I'm jealous.

Mikeado > 505Turbeaux 01/24/2014 at 09:28

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Chalk up another vote for mud-hoonage. Use it as both a G and an AMG!

PatBateman > 505Turbeaux 01/24/2014 at 09:43

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If you're not married, I know one thing you could do with it.

505Turbeaux > PatBateman 01/24/2014 at 09:46

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well, I am in an open relationship, so I might be chasing that thing down

PatBateman > 505Turbeaux 01/24/2014 at 09:57

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Atta boy.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > 505Turbeaux 01/24/2014 at 10:04

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Tyre spin generates heat ;).

Big Bubba Ray > 505Turbeaux 01/24/2014 at 10:04

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Burnouts galore.

505Turbeaux > Big Bubba Ray 01/24/2014 at 10:06

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I will do my damndest

Fed(oo=[][]=oo)uken > 505Turbeaux 01/24/2014 at 13:03

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I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that with a G63 "..so parking lot donuts are out" isn't true.

505Turbeaux > Fed(oo=[][]=oo)uken 01/24/2014 at 13:14

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depends on how big of a parking lot for me. Dont need to bang up a 130K car :)

Alex87f > offroadkarter 01/24/2014 at 16:04

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Same here. I don't like the car, but if someone hands you the keys to a big shoebox with a 500hp V8, you have to hoon that thing.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > 505Turbeaux 01/25/2014 at 14:20

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I'm confused...what is the problem exactly...a G63 is about as hairy-chested as it gets. It has plenty of off-road capability...more than any other new car you can buy.

SpeedSix > 505Turbeaux 01/25/2014 at 18:29

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See if it is still possible to hose down G-class interiors.

505Turbeaux > SpeedSix 01/26/2014 at 10:14

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I should have gone for it. It did rip though, I had more fun than expected

bob and john > 505Turbeaux 01/26/2014 at 15:30

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must. hoon